Yet another non-math crumb from behind-the-scenes...

‍A day in the life of a New Yorker. (Photo: Tai-Danae Bradley)

I was at the grocery store earlier today, minding my own business, and while I was intently studying the lentil beans (Why are there so many options?) a man came down the aisle, pushing a cart with him. He then stopped in front of me, turned, looked me directly in the eyes and said,

“Did you see the news? The secret service just implemented a new protocol in the event that someone attempts to harm President Trump.”

And at this point, several things went through my head:

#1. Why are you talking to me? I don’t know you. 

#2. This is New York City, sir. We do not speak of hurting people in grocery stores. I'm about to See Something Say Something.

#3. GoshI've really got to do a better job of keeping up with the news.

So I backed away from him and said,

“No...”

Then he says,

“It’s true. Anytime someone thinks there's a threat on the president’s life, they’re supposed to jump in front of him and say, ‘Donald Duck!’”

He then reached for his cart and continued to push it down the aisle. 

EXCUSEMEWHAT.

Dear stranger, next time please feel free to preface your words with,“Pardon me, ma’am, mind if I tell you a joke?”

Needless to say, I lost all concentration after that.

But I did get my lentil beans.

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